Gone fishing
by Terfle
Summary: Everyone's gone fishing; for snapper, for information and for drinks


'Tanya!' Pepper whipped her hat off her head and caused Tanya to lurch upright with a screech.

'Don't do that!'

'Got something to tickle your tastebuds.'

'Will it cure my hangover?' she asked with a grimace. It didn't.

A blur of orange and Harry appeared on the scene in a pair of eye wateringly bright swimming trunks. Seeing her, he waved and came to sit in the opposite chair.

'Hello. Went for an early morning swim. The water's divine. Shouldn't you get ready for the wedding?'

'Oh don't worry about me Harry. I've got loads of time. Nothing worse than sitting around in your glad rags for hours.'  
Harry settled into the chair. 'Donna must be tearing her hair out doing the wedding on her own.' He thought for a bit and broached the topic cautiously. 'What would er… what would the bride's father usually do?'

Tanya had a suspicion as to where this was going. She leaned forward and locked eyes with him and replied in an ominous voice.

'He pays.'

Harry drew back and nodded variously. He knew what to do now.

'Though my father drew a line at the third' she reassured him in a jovial voice.

Harry fidgeted with his towel. 'And er, did he say anything beforehand - words of advice - that sort of thing?'

Tanya thought back. 'Yeah, there was me in my dress, ready to go down the aisle and he pulled me back and said " _Don't worry love, I know a good lawyer!"_

She cackled with laughter; Harry finding the funny side of it and joining in with his gentlemanly bray. She stopped and stared at him.

'Hang on, why are we talking about my father?'

Harry felt like a quick exit was required.

'Just curious' he babbled. 'Got to go, got things to do, see you later bye!' He sped off to Tanya's bewilderment. She knew he didn't have much to do at all.

'Harry come back!'

'Let's catch up tonight!' he shouted over his shoulder and then he was gone. She got up to follow him when he found her way being blocked by the persistent Pepper.

'Hey Tanyaaaaaaa! Why don't we catch up from last night?'

'I've drawn a veil over last night. Last night never happened.' She poked him in the chest and returned to her chair. 'The least you can get me another drink.'

More people joined them a few seconds later. More of Sophie's and Sky's silly friends plus Bill and Rosie with a fishing line with a particularly slimy snapper impaled on the end of it.

'Hey.'

'You got up at 5.30 just to hook that revolting thing?' she asked.

'Best time to go' said Bill enthusiastically.

'You missed the most beautiful sunrise' said Rosie.

'I was sleeping. Is that all you got?' She looked at the thing hooked on the line in slight disgust. Tanya didn't do nature. She didn't do wildlife and she didn't do camping.

'Not exactly. You should have seen the one that got away. It was …' he measured the fish with his hands and doubled it 'this big.'

Rosie rolled her eyes.

'Oh Bill, don't exaggerate.'

He gave her the side eye.

'You saw it. It was a bit bigger than that one.'

'No it wasn't. It was A LOT BIGGER, like THIS BIG' she measured an impossible size with her hands and grinned at him. It did the trick and made him laugh.

Tanya watched this exchange with half an eye on Pepper. She'd persuade him to make her a better drink than the last concoction. She waved him over and he plonked himself on the next sunlounger.

'Get Pepper to make you a drink.'

Pepper grinned and put his hand on her leg. She slapped it off with a growl of outrage.

'Down boy. I'm old enough to be your mother.'

'Grandmother' Rosie muttered. Bill sniggered. Tanya gave her _the look of serious death_. It never worked with her friend. She just smiled irritatingly. Tanya vowed to get her back later.

'Ah no thanks. Rosie's promised me a fry up.'

Rosie snorted.

'When was that exactly?'

'When we discussed breakfast' he replied, with a winning smile. She squinted at him, not sure if he was yanking her chain. 'You didn't finish telling me about that trip in Dubai with the sheiks who wanted to buy you a drink and exchange you for some camels.'

'Tell him about that time someone mistook you for a tour guide in Copenhagen' suggested Tanya, settling in her chair. She'd get that drink later.

'Breakfast first' he said firmly.

'She's a great cook' mentioned Tanya.

'I know. I've got a copy of her _New Woman Cookbook_ in my rucksack. Really comes in handy.'

'To prop up the camping stove perhaps?' suggested Rosie. They'd discussed their respective books and the publishing side of things while they were waiting for their catch. She'd read his of course _(_ _A Bloke in a Boat in Botswana,_ really quite witty); it was stocked in the _New Woman Bookshop_ while he had picked up her book from mobile library on a beach in Thailand and forgot to return it. She'd laughed when she'd heard that story, finding it funny to think that it had landed up in some expat housewives' kitchen and tossed into the donation cart when said bored housewife couldn't be bothered to cook. It was full of great recipes and flavour combinations thanks to Rosie's interest in frequenting local areas in a variety of countries and Bill had used it more times than he could remember over the last few years. She concealed that odd feeling of elation when he told her that but she also suspected that he used it for furniture too, judging by the battered cover.

'Not exactly.' He wondered how she'd guessed. 'But I do know how to cook much of chapter two' he boasted.

'Do you?' She feigned surprise as she held up their catch. 'Well then you'll know how to pepper my snapper.'

Tanya snorted at the double entendre and glanced over at Bill who looked confused for a few seconds, just about to tell her that he'd never cooked snapper before…Rosie heard a snigger and glanced over at him. A bit too late she realised how it had sounded. Awkward.

'Ah, yes, I might remember' he lied innocently.

To cover her blush, she slapped the snapper over Bill's shoulder and told him that she'd test him on that. They said goodbye to the group and walked off, bickering about something ridiculous and looking forward to their breakfast date.

Tanya decided enough was enough. If she wasn't going to get her drink, she would flounce. This happened often and was a strategy that worked well for her.

'Right, let's go girls' she said, putting on her hat (the one that Rosie often compared to a tangoed third nipple) and big sunglasses.

'Tanya, where are you going?'

Pepper had finally come through with the drinks. She took one and sipped. Better.

'Three hours to showdown. We've got work to do.'

'Work?'

She waved her hand vaguely across her face. 'On my face sweetie, a little repair and renovation.'

'Hey. You don't mess with a masterpiece.' Pepper winked. His friends burst out laughing.

'You sad bastard' said Eddie, shaking his head.

'He'd be dangerous with half a brain' volunteered Ali while Lisa giggled.

'Tanya can't ignore the chemistry between us' said Pepper with a leer.

'Oh? We'll see about that. Little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned.'

Tanya liked a challenge.


End file.
